What If?
by TreesAreSnazzy
Summary: Read the title.


"We know it wasn't your fault," Two-Bit said softly. I still stared sraight ahead. 

"I didn't mean it when I said you made me loose my best friend."Steve said gravely.

"There was nothing you could do." Dally said with finality, Johnny nodding in agreement. I turned to them.

"I never wanted them to leave. Never."

* * *

"Argh! What the hell Two-Bit, I won that hand and you know it!" I shouted. Two-Bit tried an innocent look. He held up his hands in an "I don't want any trouble" Sort of way and I saw a card flutter down to the table. His eyes followed it the whole way.

"I knew it you-" I lunged forward knocking the drinks off the table. I needed to get that Two-Bit right around the neck. Steve and Soda laughed hysterically whilst me and Two-Bit battled it out. After a few minutes we both gave up. I started to clean up the soda's that fell.

"Hey Soda can you get that?" I asked when I heard the doorbell ring. He nodded. After a minute he came over to me the color drained out of his face and his hands shaking.

"What's wrong?" I asked immediately. He shook his head and swallowed, but he didn't speak.

"Pony, maybe you should go to bed. Mom and Dad will be home soon." I said casually. When I said mom and dad Soda let out a strangled gasp.

"Go talk to the officer. Go tell him he's lying Darry." He finally managed. I walked to the door and there was a cop there. He was spinning his hat in his hands nervously. He was pretty young, not much older than me. When I saw his face I realized it was Jack Clancy. He had been in my bio class. I saw his face fall when he saw me.

"Oh no, you've got to be kidding me." He whined softly. The finally straightened his hat and managed to look me in the eye.

"Darry, God. I hate to tell you this. There was an accident tonight," He couldn't keep the eye contact any longer. "There was a crash. Your parents were killed Darry. Someone will be here to talk to you about your brothers sometime this week." He glanced up quickly. "I'm sorry, man." He said softly before leaving quickly.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Soda said after a minute. "Why didn't you tell him he was lying!" I turned to him.

"He's not lying Soda." I said gently. His face was full of rage. I was surprised when I heard Pony speak up rather than him.

"Yes he was! You're lying; you always lie to me. You tell me that the scary movies are real and that I'm adopted. You tell me lies all the time. You're just lying this time too!" He screeched. I felt my throat get tight.

"No Pony, I don't want it to be true either. But baby, it is. You have to believe it. I'm not lying this time." After that Soda broke down sobbing. He ran to the kitchen and started throwing things every which way. He threw our pop bottles at the wall. He was reaching for the dinner plates when I grabbed his hand. A violent Soda was never a good thing. He fell into my chest and just cried. He actually cried so hard he made himself sick.  
Around midnight I had finally managed to get him to bed I heard Pony scream. He had gone to his bed on his own as soon as Soda went to the kitchen.

He lay there thrashing screaming for mom and dad. I had no idea what to do. I've never seen anyone have a nightmare. Sure all of us had bad dreams when we were little but nothing like this.

"Pony calm down," I said helplessly.

"Dad?" He asked through tears. I turned my head away.

"No Darry. It's Darry, Ponyboy." I whispered. I spent the next hour or so fighting tears and telling my baby brother I wasn't our daddy and that our parents were dead.

The funeral was just as bad. They both broke down at the church. Pony could hardly breathe and Soda could barely keep from passing out. I could feel myself wanting to scream. Want to run up to the pastor and shake him. Tell him to stop the mass now. That wasn't our parents. The car just broke down somewhere and they'd come in the house laughing with a story to tell us all. I wanted to scream and cry. I wanted someone to tell me it was ok. But I never once let on that I did. I sat in the pew talking to my brothers trying to stop their tears while trying to stop my own.

After the funeral someone from social services came to talk to me.

"You understand why we have to do this?" he asked. I nodded stiffly.

"We can't allow someone your age to take care of two children in this area." He told me.  
"I know," I said hoarsely. Pony and Soda came jogging in the house from school.

"Hey you guys. I've got to tell you something. You're going to go live with a nice family. Someone who can cook and help you with your homework." I said. They looked confused for a minute before a look of comprehension dawned on them.

"No Darry, You can't." Pony whispered. Soda simply looked dumbstruck.

"I know, but it's alright. I can come see you all the time. It'll be great."

Pony walked over and curled up on the couch next to me.

"No, you can't let them. I don't want to leave. We don't want to leave." He said. I stroked his hair.

"You have to. You'll be fine don't worry. In a few years maybe. Maybe then they'll let you live with me but not now so you just have to try for me. You and Soda both try for me for a few years." I said thickly. I let the tears fall freely.

"But Darry," Soda said. I got up and hugged him hard. The social services man grabbed him by his upper arm.

"We have to go now." He said.

"Darry no! We aren't leaving. We can't, the gang! We can' t just go." Soda sobbed. The social services man started to drag him tot the car. I couldn't understand a word he said.  
I was walking out to the car with Pony too though and he wasn't making much more sense either. He kept trying to slide his feet, to just slip down to the ground so he could stay here.

"Don't you want us Darry?" he kept crying. I finally had to pick him up around the middle and carry him to the car. Every step I took ripped my heart to shreds. I could literally feel my heart breaking. Pony kicked and screamed and Soda pounded on the window. I fell to my knees when the car turned the corner.

I never wanted them to leave. Never.


End file.
